It seems as if my summer concert series is going to extend until October. I received a call today telling me that someone else that I would be willing to pay money for is coming to town on October 23…now, this man owes us some music, but he could come to my town and sing the damn alphabet and I would PAY to see him do it!
Ms. V…I immediately thought of you…you too, D…
Should I be troubled by the fact that I am alone and almost 37 years old? I had a conversation today with someone and they said to me that they wouldn’t know what to do if they didn’t have a man in their life…that they needed a body in the bed next to them.
OK…I must be something else because I would like to have a warm body next to mine, but need one? No. Would I like to cuddle with someone on the couch and watch a movie? Sure…but need? No. Has my life ended because I don’t have a man in my life? Not quite. I used to think, after my divorce, that I was going to turn into an old hag who latched onto her son as her only source of social life…and for a moment, I did. But it was my ex-husband who stopped that. Yes, my ex-husband. He is the one who told me to get out and enjoy my life and that my son couldn’t fill that space for me. Of course, at that time I ignored him, because who in the hell wants to admit that their ex-husband is actually making some sense? But as I continue on in my life, my mind gets clearer and I realize that my son is getting older and he has to live his own life, has to become his own person. I am his mother, not his friend, not his homie, not his partner. My son does often serve as my dining out partner, but when I need to get some time with some adults, I do. And I find myself nowadays craving some adult attention. So lately, I have started to go and spend time with my friends and do 36-year-old things.
Back to the man thing. There are times when I miss having someone here to rub my shoulders and kiss me on my neck, among other things. I patiently await my turn, though. I am not into fulfilling that space with any temporary fill-in. I want someone who is going to treat me like I deserve to be treated. I have been listening to Steve Harvey (of all people) who has stated lately that women need to have standards and requirements of how they want to be treated. I am that woman. I know what I want and do not want and won’t settle for anything less. If I know you are going to deliver less, I won’t even bother. At even the slightest inclination, I’m out. I know that sounds a little hard-ass, but there are too many games to be played, and I simply don’t have the time or patience. Nor do I have the temperament to deal with bullshit. So I’ll wait…I know it’s coming.
It is a hard thing, having authority over whether someone keeps their job or not. I don’t have direct authority, but as part of my job, dealing with seasonal employees, I have to make the decision on whether or not they are fit for the job. I had to make that decision recently and let some of the seasonals go. Having been a supervisor before, this is the part I absolutely hate. I believe in giving people a chance to show and prove, but I also believe that if it is not going to work out, then everyone has to face the facts and move on. The hard part comes when the emotions arrive.
Honestly, I am one of the coolest people you will ever meet (if I must say so myself) and even sometimes to the surprise of myself, my flexibility is immense. But when you bend me further than I can go, then I snap. It is when I reach this level that I no longer care if your feelings get hurt; that is my mistake. I realize that this is something that I need to work on…being able to make the decision quicker, before I reach this point. Unconsciously, I continue to move toward my breaking point, thinking that I am being patient and supportive; but all the while I am building to a point of frustration that is not good for me…or anyone else.
After letting the seasonals go today, I happened to be caught in the elevator with them. No one said a word; not me, not them…nobody. It was an uncomfortable and awkward silence and the longest elevator ride from the 2nd floor to the 1st floor ever (I thought riding the elevator would help me to miss them; not). Once I got to my car, I overheard a conversation the seasonals had with others about why they suspected they had been let go. They, of course, were way off base, but it helped me put things in perspective. People are going to say what they have to say to make themselves feel better. No matter the situation, no matter how it truly went down, if they are not honest with themselves, they will make up all kinds of things to make themselves look better and make the other party involved look bad.
Being a member of the management team is hard; it is a thankless job. You cannot play both sides of the fence. But what I learned today is that I will not give up being who I am to become who people think I should be. I am who I am…I worked hard to finally get to this place in my life where I am comfortable in my skin, being me, knowing me. And I won’t give that up to satisfy anyone else.
Do you ever get the feeling that something is coming, but you are not sure what it is? You can sense it…the air around you is not quite right but you can feel the change coming. That is how I feel right now. It has more to do with my family more than it does me, I think. I’ve tried to remain positive and stay in prayer, and I still feel it. So this is the next step, I guess…to write it all out.
I am the big sister; so it is human nature that I would be the responsible one, the one who is the mature and independent one. I have often wondered how in the world could I be such a complete 180 from my younger sibling…we are polar opposites. You would think that eventually, the younger one would realize that eventually he would have to begin to do for himself…not this one. My younger brother still lives at home with my mother and still holds onto the belief that he should be taken care of. I know part of that is my fault, but the time has come for him to let that go.
I won’t speak bad of my brother, but the fact is that he has not learned to have accountability for himself. He does not know how to be responsible for himself. I find that most of the people his age have this lack of character, though. I am surrounded by these younger people at my job and I tell you, it absolutely infuriates me that younger generation believes that something is owed to them. Not all of them, because I know some 20-somethings that are enterprising and motivated, so there is still hope. The lack of work ethic that I see on a daily basis though is frightening.
My brother is in a position now where he either has to sink or swim, fight or flight. he has burned so many bridges and turned so many people off with his laziness and victim attitude that now he can’t find anyone who will lend a hand. I look at him and I am immediately saddened because he has wasted good jobs because he would rather party than work. Now it seems as if he can’t get a job (that bad reputation following him around), and he is just lost. I feel for him, but I also think there is nothing I can do for him. He often whines that no one will help him; I say, help yourself and help will come to you. He often wants to compare my relationship with my family to his relationship. It is not the same. I make the effort; he does not. He expects something for nothing…I give so I receive. Again, we are polar opposites.
I love him to death…he’s my baby brother. And everything that I’ve said here, I’ve said to him so I don’t feel bad. What makes me feel bad is that I don’t think that even in the face of failure, even in the throes of being nothing, he still won’t understand that a lesson is trying to get through to him. And that is breaking my heart.
I believe-
That we don’t have to change friends if we understand that friends change.
I believe-
That no matter how good a friend is, they’re going to hurt you every once in a while and, you must forgive them for that.
I believe-
That true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. Same goes for true love.
I believe-
That you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.
I believe-
That it’s taking me a long time to become the person I want to be.
I believe-
That you should always leave loved ones with loving words. It may be the last time you see them.
I believe-
That you can keep going long after you can’t.
I believe-
That we are responsible for what we do, no matter how we feel.
I believe-
That either you control your attitude or it controls you.
I believe-
That regardless of how hot and steamy a relationship is at first, the passion fades and there had better be something else to take its place.
I believe-
That heroes are the people who do what has to be done when it needs to be done, regardless of the consequences.
I believe-
That money is a lousy way of keeping score.
I believe-
That my best friend and I can do anything or nothing and have the best time!
I believe-
That sometimes the people you expect to kick you when you’re down, will be the ones to help you get back up.
I believe-
That sometimes when I’m angry I have the right to be angry, but that doesn’t give me the right to be cruel.
I believe-
That just because someone doesn’t love you the way you want them to doesn’t mean they don’t love you with all they have.
I believe-
That maturity has more to do with what types of experiences you’ve had and what you’ve learned from them and less to do with how many birthdays you’ve celebrated.
I believe-
That it isn’t always enough to be forgiven by others. Sometimes you have to learn to forgive yourself.
I believe-
That no matter how bad your heart is broken the world doesn’t stop for your grief.
I believe-
That our background and circumstances may have influenced who we are, but we are responsible for who we become.
I believe-
That just because two people argue, it doesn’t mean they don’t love each other, And just because they don’t argue, it doesn’t mean they do.
I believe-
That you shouldn’t be so eager to find out a secret. It could change your life forever.
I believe-
That two people can look at the exact same thing and see something totally different.
I believe-
That your life can be changed in a matter of hours by people who don’t even know you.
I believe-
That even when you think you have no more to give, when a friend cries out to you - you will find the strength to help.
I believe-
That credentials on the wall do not make you a decent human being.
I believe-
That the people you care about most in life are the essence of life. Tell them today how much you love them and what they mean to you.
~ taken from www.rogerknapp.com
A song that says something always gets me riled up…and when it is delivered in a funky, move your ass kinda way…well, that just makes it even better.
This song always makes me want to do “The Bump” and then go out and stage a protest march…
Watch Stevie turn out the 1975 Grammys…those folks were getting their groove ON!!
How y’all doing? I thought I would do a little blog trolling tonight and let you know some of the spots that I visit on the regular and why I like them…
Have you been keeping up with the SoulBounce Top 100 Soul/R&B countdown? They are up to #14 and every day I pay them a visit to see what the next song is…today, it is Minnie Ripperton’s “Inside My Love.” Now, if you don’t remember what this song sounds like, picture biting into a soft peach and letting the juices run down your chin…pure sweetness. Along the way of this countdown, there has been some discord with the choices made…I find nothing wrong with it, because the choices were not mine and who am I to rue someone else’s picks? And anyway, the folks over at SoulBounce have very good ears…the music is very worthy…I encourage you to visit and take a peek at the list and let them know what you think.
Every Tuesday, Malcolm posts a trivia quiz that I have been avoiding…it has some awesome questions on it. Usually I take one look at it and shake my head, thinking, “There is no way in hell I’m going to get any of these!” But this week, I took the plunge…and it was fun! Malcolm is also an OSF participant, so go by and give him some luv while you are partaking in the weekly quiz…
SjP takes an in-depth look at an article written by some chick that basically says a whole lot of nothing. Is she complimenting Michelle Obama, or trying to break her down? Glide over to SjP’sto get the full story…also SjP is the originator of the Sunday Inspirations meme that this blog participates in every Sunday. This meme has helped me to put into words how much I have been blessed and gives me an outlet to spread the word…thanks, SjP!
Occasionally, I need to look at something that makes me giggle…and I need to be reminded that I am okay to be me. YKYDAW is the site that feeds me, right or wrong, the laughs that I need. Some of you may just out and out object to the pics that are shown on this site…that’s alright, don’t look. But for me, it is just the simple fact that sometimes we need to laugh at ourselves. And if some of these folks would take a long look in the mirror before they stepped in front of the camera, maybe they wouldn’t have taken the damn picture in the first place.
Alright, I think that is enough for today…more next week…have fun!
Man…this weekend has been difficult on the entertainment world. Seriously, the past couple of months have been just hard. George Carlin, Tim Russert, Bernie Mac…and now Isaac Hayes have all passed. I realize that death is a part of life, and that we must say goodbye and continue to move forward; but the emptiness is hard to ignore.
Isaac Hayes just epitomized cool to me. He always reminded me of someone who could sit you down and have a nice long conversation about life…no bullshitting, no fillers…just straight, no chaser. My mother used to play those Isaac Hayes records, one in particular: “I Stand Accused.” Man, I heard that record so much growing up, not really knowing what it meant until I got older, but even in my youth, I knew that that man was laying down some serious, serious realness.
I feel blessed to have been exposed to his immense talent…blessed to have heard his rap, his speaking, his songs. All of these happenings this weekend have just reminded me how precious life is, and how important it is to live every day.
I leave you with my favorite Isaac Hayes song…
With every passing day, I become more aware of how I live my life. I have spent so much of my time living in fear, resisting the things that I have always wanted to do. Coming to face that fear is my biggest challenge, and I have made a vow to live my life, every day, to the fullest. What does the fullest mean, though? What it means to me is to leave a trail of love behind me wherever I go; it means that I will:
~ Mark Twain
How are you living your life?
Good Saturday, everyone…
I awoke to the news this morning that Bernie Mac has died from complications from pneumonia. He was in the hospital in critical condition, but I remember reading last week that he was improving…at least according to his publicist. He died this morning at a Chicago hospital.
I have always enjoyed Bernie…he was just funny. My favorite routine of his has to be from the Kings of Comedy…talking about his sister’s kids…
So I’m on my way to my concert Thursday, and my mom calls me to tell me that some crazy ass man has threatened to kill Obama and they found an arsenal in his hotel room. We knew it was coming, right? Dude says that he didn’t threaten Obama, but believes that he is the “anti-Christ” prophesied in the Bible. I was disheartened and frightened…and thought to myself that there has to be a higher power watching over him. More than that, though…as we get closer to the conventions and the election, the kooks are going to come crawling out of the darkness; I think it is safe to say that this is the first of many. Sad…
Well, well, well—looks like the Golden Boy has some tarnish. I have always had such regard for John Edwards, but this puts a crack in his seemingly perfect finish. I know we all make mistakes, but to cheat on your wife while she is going through the challenge of her life…that is not cool to say the least. Will he come back from his fall from grace? Some say no…we’ll just see about that.
So Tyra did a spread in Harper’s, portraying herself as Michelle Obama…then an article came out that said that she has aspirations of being a First Lady one day. I like Tyra and all, but her as a First Lady is not something I want to see.
So the Detroit Pimp Mayor found himself in jail for making an unauthorized trip to Canada while on restrictions resulting from his perjury charges. He has been released, but now faces felony charges for assaulting a sheriff’s deputy.
I believe in standing up and fighting…when you are right. This man is so wrong that it is impossile to even say how wrong he is. he needs to save what little pride and dignity he has left and take himself away from the public eye and work on building himself up. His ego is out of control…and he seems to be tearing down everyone else around him. I don’t live in Detroit, so I don’t know how the folks up there feel about him…but I do know that it just does not look good from the outside.
We’ve done many a OSF, but I have to say that Rock Songs was my favorite so far. As I did my OSF tour, I was pleasantly surprised by the diversity and love for Rock music. There were so many choices and so many favorites that I had to choose from, that the choice was hard. One of my very favorites was covered over at Mrs. Grapevine’s: Bon Jovi’s Wanted Dead or Alive. I think this song started me on my journey down Rock music lane. You know, during the 80’s, it was easy to expand your brain and get into other genres, and I was so into Duran Duran, Wham, Bon Jovi, and others.
So I give you another piece of Bon Jovi…
Tyrese is giving up music for acting…I think that’s a shame because I love a crooner and he is definitely that.
I have found a new friend in Fresh, writer of the blog The Concrete Journal. His site is, well…fresh. The writing is excellent and he offers a new perspective on things that I have never seen before…me likey. Stop by and give him a shout.
For those of you who missed the news (Ms. Regina, I’m talking to you!), OBW is back up and running. The posting has been slow, but give me some time…it’ll be hot over there soon!
My son turns 13 today. I went and bought him a cell phone for his birthday. I found myself calling his friend’s cell phones when he was away from home in an attempt to reach him. I finally climbed out of denial and realized that the boy needed his own phone. So I caved…
But the real gift comes today. I am giving him a copy of The Autobiography of Malcolm X. I believe that it is a resource for young Black men…one that plants the idea that you can come from anything and become something.
I wish you all a peaceful Saturday…
